Covid Blues

red blue and green color

It’s been a little over a year since Covid entered our lives. It’s been a crazy year for everyone I’m sure, and those of us lucky enough to still be here with family and friends safe and sound have so much to be thankful for. But it’s been terribly trying. I’m only now; one year later, starting to realize the effects it’s had on me, on my parenting, on my marriage, on just about every aspect of my life.

I thought I had been handling all the changes rather well, all three of us have adapted into a new routine I think. What I find creeping in, is a sort of subtle depression. It’s a feeling of sadness and loneliness. We are isolated to begin with, in a town with no friends or family close by. But now, one year of not even being able to go out together as a couple is wearing on me.

I’ve started to notice some changes:

  • I’ve begun to shy away from friends and family. Even more so than usual. I’m usually horrible about keeping in touch or getting back to someone. But this is different. I am purposely keeping people at arms length and it’s just not like me.
  • I find myself lost in thought, reflecting or more accurately remembering really random things from my past. It’s hard to stay focused on any one task for long.

Tears seem to be ever at the ready to come bubbling forth. Over silly inconsequential things. Watching the news has also started to overwhelm me, I’ve had to take a break from CNN for the past few weeks.

I’m lacking in energy to do even the most simple mundane things. I used to be your typical morning person. From the moment I wake up I’m on the go full throttle and I get a million things done. But now I wake up tired and it is the worst feeling.

My sleep is even more restless and non-existent something I didn’t think was even possible. Even playing with my son is tiresome and I hate to admit that. It’s actually what has made me even pause to consider this is becoming a problem. I keep saying to myself I will snap out of it, but it’s been over a month now.

So what can I do about it? I need to actively take part in getting over this rut.

My first plan is to set apart more quality time with my son, making sure to do activities that he will enjoy and just over all basking in the joy that he is, without getting overwhelmed by a huge to do list waiting back at home.

I need to start exercising regularly again. I started to wain on my routine about two months ago and it slowly petered out. I’ve gone the last two weeks getting in four workouts a week, I’m not where I used to be but I am happy with the progress.

I need to start writing again as well. Needless to say I haven’t been much for posting as of late. But I promise to make the effort and get back to posting regularly. It’s cathartic and honestly sometimes the only format for me to share whatever thoughts or feelings I’m having.

I will get back to the at least twenty or so missed calls and text messages from friends and family. With a very sincere apology for being so absent. Hopefully they won’t be too annoyed with me, though they have every right to be.

I also plan on reading again. It’s been a while since I had a consistent reading routine and it was really one of the only things that made me feel grounded and as if I’m part of something. I know that’s a strange way to put it. But the immersion of reading is a necessity, especially when you are far from family and friends.

And lastly now that restrictions are beginning to ease here in Spain, I have to get out of the house more and just walk and take in the city and enjoy my surroundings.

Here are some resources I’ve found on recognizing Covid Blues and dealing with it effectively. Worth taking a look at.

Coping With Coronavirus Blues

CDC Coping With Stress

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